I think I am just gonna change my blog name from MsGonzalezBlogs to Silentbob. Im not posting as frequently as I was hoping for 2017, but its not for the lack of ideas. Its more for the lack of time and good weather. It’s hard to get a good outfit shot when its pissing down with rain!
It’s also really difficult to find words to put on paper (or internet) when you are closely approaching the last year of your 20s. Im sure many of you think this is not a big deal, but to me it kinda is. I mean, it’s the age my mother still claims to be! Its the age Joey from Friends made a deal with God with. Pressure much? Over the years I have used 29 as the mile stone to complete my bucket list goals, funny how when Im sat here the day before the deadline all these goals seems to have vanished in to thin air and I cant seem to pin point one. They seem pointless now, the planning of them, the anxiety surrounding them and the countless nights my girlfriends and I would sit drinking wine discussing them until the early hours of the morning now have become redundant in some way.
29 is like the space between, the in between. You arnt in the 30s club yet, but you aren’t really part of the 20s group. Not mentally, not physically. I laugh at the rose tinted life goals 18 year old me had. Successful, well paid, married in my own huge house with a dog and baby on the way. I mean, back then people at the age of 29 were so grown up! They were proper adults! Ha even I LOL at that now. ‘Cause at this moment I cant picture myself with any of that, and currently I’m just really freaking happy I have a job, nonetheless a jobb that is what I did my degree in. It’s kinda sad in a way, thats what people my generation have to rejoice over.
I dont know what I should spend this year doing. I feel like I should make it a year of a lifetime but thats so much pressure I feel its gonna make me crumble. Should I be spending this year trying to achieve those teenage life goals? Should I be spending this year trying to finally find myself? Should I just continue on like nothing has changed? Im stuck in the middle. Again. It seems to be the story of my life at the moment. I kinda wasnt ready for this, and now its here and I guess I just gotta deal.
But all I really want right now is some silver foiled inflated balloons spelling out 29 and hope that they will carry me away to some tropical island.